eight days of hospitalization...

It has been two weeks and two days since my operation and I'm still alive and kicking. I have a splitting headache and the repairs they are doing to my balcony that started the day I was discharged really really really don't help. So since I didn't write anything in the last two weeks I thought that the best way to record the surgery was to break it down from the beginning day by day.

June 26, 2006: Day 1: Surgery

We woke up at dawn so we could be at the hospital by 5:30 am. It was a crisp clean and refreshing morning, the kind of morning that makes you mildly regret never getting up and out that early in the morning..Ever...Unless your forced to. We got to the hospital on time and I had to change out of my clothes into those ugly gowns that don't hide much and then we began to wait. At approximately 6:30 or so (I don't remember exactly I was pretty tired and nervous) they took me away to the operating room. My beautiful boyfriend held my hand until the big doors that they wouldn't let him pass, I was taken away into the abyss of the operating room. This time the room was very well lit, almost too well lit, and despite that I didn't have my glasses and I can't see with out them, I had a fair idea of who was talking to me and when. A few of the residents introduced themselves to me, and one of the stayed by me until they put the IV in my arm and pumped the anesthesia in. And of course when that happens everything fades very quickly.


The next thing I know is that I'm in the recovery room with a nurse sitting beside me and a nice doctor asking me questions. Making me say where I am and all that jazz. Apparently I didn't pass because I heard quite clearly the order to get me a bed in the ICU. The nurse stayed by me saying my name every time I drifted off to sleep to wake me up. Apparently what has happened was they put a whole new shunt into my body so they used my left plural cavity to drain the fluid, instead of the right one which already has a shunt in it. My lung slightly collapsed and I stopped breathing every time I started to fall asleep. There was no beds immediately available in the ICU for three hours, so I stayed din recovery until than, but I don't remember much. When I finally got to ICU, My Aunt and My roommate was there as was a bouquet of flowers from my boyfriends parents. I remembered them being beautiful but not much else. I was only allowed two visitors at a time so they traded off for a while then they all left except my boyfriend so I could sleep. (my breathing had evened itself out). I don't know how long he stayed exactly but I do remember drifting off to sleep while he held my hand. It was a wonderful feeling to have a warm touch to calm me down after the confusion and the pain of the last few hours.

Day 2

I had a very nice nurse throughout the night. His name was InIn. I remember that because he said it was like 'out out' only with In instead. It made me laugh.

I remember the day through bits and pieces. I slept though most of it. But I do know I was in so much pain everywhere, and I couldn't move barely at all. And they had to keep switching me from side to side and propping my back with pillows. I had about 12 pillows in ICU. My Aunt was there too. She is a nurse at the same hospital, and she was working so she visited me during her breaks and fussed over me, making sure I had the things that the other nurses forgot. She was like a mother who always fusses over their kids when their sick, but one that actually knew what to do. It was a huge comfort to have her there. I think my headache started that day. But it was overshadowed by everything else.

When my roommate came later my aunt was there, and they had me laughing when my Doctor came in and was so excited to see me doing so well. I was so confused by his assessment because it was the only time that day that I felt mildly coherent. But I always get confused in the hospital because every one keeps telling me contradictory statements. They also switched me out of my private room and I was bombarded with all the noises of the ICU and the hyper nurses that are so hard to understand when you have no idea what's going on.
My boyfriend held my hand while I slept again that day too. Then he left and my headache really started to hit me. I didn't sleep well, everything was so noisy and confusing. The nurses all had different accents that I couldn't place because I had trouble thinking. So when everyone came in the next evening to see me I wasn't doing very well at all.

Day 3

I got an email letter from my brother. Apparently you can send a friendly greeting to a patient at that hospital if you have a little bit of info about them, though the messages have to be positive.

My headache turned into a migraine. A low pressure headache, the nurses said I had a sinus infection, but didn't do anything about it, then the doctor said it wasn't and told me that it was a good sign and that it will last for quite sometime. I was not happy to hear that. My roommate tells me that I could barely talk, or at least that I talked so quietly that it was very hard to hear me.
The only reason I was still in ICU with all the noise and the psycho patients was there were no beds in the ward I needed to go to. That and I was still a tad high maintence. I hadn't left the bed yet and could barely sit up, and they still helped me turn over. I was able to talk for small amounts of time and follow conversations for just as long. They did take out the catheter that day, which made things awkward because I self Cath and I couldn't do it in bed, so the nurses had to cath me. Do you know what is stupid? That it is hospitals that teach you how to Cath in the first place, and tell you what supplies and what type of catheters to use, and then when you are in the hospital they rarely have latex free catheters and nothing in your size and they can't order yours in! Tell me where the logic is in that.

I learned how to separate myself from myself when they cathed me, and also when they cleaned me up. I still hadn't washed my hair since Sunday night. My hair was so greasy that it stuck in all directions. But I was still in the state of mind that I really didn't care to much. I wanted to be doing better but I also really wanted to sleep.

The physio people sat me on the edge of my bed, and I was so dizzy I could barely do it. So after a few minutes I laid back down, and my roommate read to me and talked to me. He took the day off so he spent the afternoon with me, and it was great to have him there.

That night was the worst, because all the nurses were fighting with each other, only I couldn't understand why, or what was going on, except that my bed was a no nurse zone, because my nurse had to go through enemy lines to get to me. I was ready to get out of the ICU, and all the lights and noise that just grated through my skull. And my head felt like my was going to explode.

Day 4

The physio people came to visit me again and got me in my chair. It was so hard to sit up and I was so dizzy. I was taking a lot of gravol at the time to try to fight all the nausea that came when ever I moved. But I did slowly wheel around and they showed me where I would transferred to later that day.

So I think it's easy to say that you've been in the hospital way too much, when all the nurses remember you and you get put in the same room and bed that you had the first time you were in that hospital.

But I didn't care, I was about to get out of the ICU into a much more subdued environment! (or so I thought) My aunt came and washed my hair, that felt sooooo good. And I was finally able to keep things in my room. And I was more coherent then I had been in a long time. And I did manage to sit up in bed for longer periods of time. And I could turn myself, even though it did hurt, but I could still do it, and I wasn't giving up an ounce of freedom. I was tired of being sick and out of it, so I was determined to get better. Everyone was supportive and proud of me. And I had more color to my cheeks.

then everyone left and I realized the most horrible thing. MY ROOMMATE SNORED. She snored so badly that again I didn't sleep much and my migraine was even worse. And the nurses kept leaving lights on, and I just wanted to be in pitch black and noise free. UGH!

Day 5

Ever have one of those days where you just wanted everyone to go away? Well that day was one of them, and the day I got the most visitors because they could finally do so because I was no longer in the ICU.

I started getting up to go to the bathroom myself, fighting the nausea each time, then I ate very little then had a nap. Lots and lots of naps. Moving took a lot out of me.

It was nice to finally see people but they kept coming.

So when everyone left I blocked out everything cause I finally got earplugs and was left in peace and quiet, and I just slept and slept and slept. I had the wierdest dreams, but it was so nice to actually have some peace.

Day 6

it was like I was a new person I could transfer easily and I finally got some fresh air. And I got to spend time with my boyfriend. He was so happy to see me doing sooo much better. And well I still felt drained, I could still fight through it, it was great!

My roommate bought me food and I had a chicken Quesadia, and I devoured it, well most of it, I got full fast. Not eating much for a week will do that to you. It was soooo good though. But then it's not hard to make anything taste better then hospital food.

2 crappy things did happen though. My breathing got worse, and my potassium levels were very low despite all the potassium they were shoving down my throat or through my IV.

The potassium thong was scary because one nurse told me if I didn't get my levels up my heart would stop beating. That's a little harsh and by far a worse case senario, but I took my potassium and I ate bananas. But it still wasn't going up. And they wanted to send me home Monday, and as much as I wanted to go home I want to make sure I was safe first.

That night was the first night that I was bored and restless. And my migraine dissipated into a low pressure headache, so still annoying, but I could tolerate normal noises.

Day 7

Sunday Sunday Sunday. I got to shower all on my own it felt great. That and I got a chance to look decent for my boyfriend who was coming to visit me around lunch time. I was very much looking forward to this visit because we could actually go outside and get fresh air, and talk. I hadn't felt like talking too too much the past week, and I finally had a chance to show him how much better I was doing. Only just before he got there my cheerfully adorable nurse came in with three bolusus (bags) of Potassium she wanted to pump through my IV site. And she said it would take three hours. Nothing like pumping a chemical into you arm that burns for three hours to make a girl happy. However I was able to fanagle an hour out of her as long as I took one big fat horse pill of potassium first.

So enter my boyfriend looking adorable. Wearing a color he hates but that I think he looks good in. Now that's love. We went outside to the Magic Tree. It's an open courtyard that they are slowly improving to give sick kids a place to feel comfortable. We sat by the magic tree and hugged and kissed. It was nice to be kissed. I usually don't feel sexy when I'm in the hospital, so being kissed helps take away some of that "I don't feel remotely desirable" mentality you can get stuck in away. Not that I think that people should go around kissing patients. But loved ones should take the time to hold hands and kiss cheeks, and significant others should kiss their loved ones in the hospital from time to time when it's appropriate. It really does help the healing process. When you are sick it's easy to get depressed by your surroundings, and knowing that people care for you helps keep you out of that funk. For the most part anyways.

So back to my boyfriend. hehe. It was a nice hour, which we finished off by playing with stuffed animals in the gift shop. He is so cute with them.

I was feeling really sad when he had to leave, I missed him so much that I couldn't wait till I was better so I could see him more often.

So it was back in my room took get pumped full of crap. So while I was stuck on my bed I began to write to my best friend. When it was done it was 6 pages long.

I think the biggest adventure of the day was when I got my chest XRay I was taking sown to the elevator with trusty IV pole, and once in the elevator, we were told to get out it was being taken over by STARS. So we got to go hang out on the STARS floor. Luckily the other evaluator wasn't be hijacked so we eventually got down to XRAY. My adorable aunt started making fun the people who needs stars on the long weekend, and it didn't help that they were in full dirtbiking gear. Her name for patients who get injured on the longweekend, is Darwin patients because someone was doing something stupid whether it was them or some one who hurt them, in order for the injury to occur in the first place. I find that funny. I guess when you see people get hurt stupidly time and time again you become a tad jaded.

Oh and Sunday really was productive even though I felt crappy, because we also found out that an old friend/ old roommate, just had a heart transplant surgery at the same hospital, so we tracked him down and we got to visit briefly, it's hard to visit in ICU cause only two visitors at a time and they kick you out regularly. But he was looking good for a boy with a bunch of tubes inside him. It's very hard to feel sorry for yourself when you know that a friend just went through something worse. Or apparently worse. I mean I have to admit though I really don't like to at all, that spinal surgery is really nothing to scoff at. I could have died, if I had stopped breathing. And having a hollow spinal cord, filled with water or no, is still pretty scary. But I refuse to admit it. :)

Day 8

My last full day in the hospital. The only reason I wasn't released then was because we want to make sure my potassium levels were normal again. And have one last check up from the doctor to make sure I could move around easily enough so I would be okay at home, and that my lungs were fine. Which they were mostly. I get fluid bubbles in the chest cavity that hurt like hell, but that's a good thing, because that means the shunt is working. In fact everything, the headaches , the nausea, the tingles in my legs bum and tummy, are all good pain. pain that shows I'm healing.
Well all that good pain made me feel like crap. I spent most of the resting and trying not to get sick. I did Have a popsicle with one of my aunts and my cousin who's a nurse who was working that day. It was nice but I wasn't feeling very social. So instead I packed up all the stuff I wanted my roommate to take home...Which was quite a lot. And spent the rest of the day feeling ill. My boyfriend was feeling Ill too so he curled up on my bed and rested with me. It was nice. And none of the nurses complained so that was good too. I was allowed to leave as soon as I had a ride and my paperwork filled out the next morning and boy was I ready to leave.